Two Months After Losing Gabe, Justin Grunewald Is Living Her Message of Hope – runnersworld.com

High into the clouds where the snowy peaks reach for the summer sun, Justin Grunewald stood above the world below. At 14,265 feet—the top of Quandary Peak just outside of Breckenridge, Colorado—he was distracted momentarily from the heartbreak of losing his wife Gabe Grunewald, a middle-distance star, to cancer this past June.

After running up the last few steps of the trail, he stopped to take in the scenery that surrounded him from all angles. In that moment of quiet beauty, he could feel her embrace in a place they once enjoyed together.

On the couple’s fifth anniversary last October, they climbed the same mountain. It was one of three “14ers” they conquered together during Gabe’s battle with cancer, a much more terrifying mountain that the professional runner attacked head-on for over a decade before she passed away on June 11.

“I assume she’s still around, and she’s there when I need her the most,” Justin told Runner’s World over the phone from the parking lot at the base of the peak.

Gabe’s life was cut short at just 32, but she still managed to make a huge impact on the running community and beyond. While battling a rare form of cancer and competing as one of the best middle-distance runners in the country, she inspired countless people to live bravely.

For over 10 years, she fought adenoid cystic carcinoma, a rare cancer of the salivary glands, which she was diagnosed with as a fifth-year senior running for the University of Minnesota. Despite the diagnosis, she went on to become an All-American in the 1500 meters, and after that, a professional runner who almost made the 2012 Olympic team.

Through chemotherapy treatments and multiple surgeries, Gabe continued to train and race, all while sharing the highs and lows of her journey as an advocate for survivors of rare diseases. She even helped found two races with the goal of raising funds and awareness for rare cancer research, and she started her own foundation, the Brave Like Gabe Foundation.

“She was the strongest person I’ve ever met, and she’ll probably be the strongest person I’ll ever know,” Justin said. “I think she felt empowered by making other people feel empowered.”

Sharing Her Journey

Whether she was racing, training, or going through treatment, Gabe kept up a vocal presence on social media, updating her followers on what was going on.

On May 4, Gabe shared on her Instagram that she was admitted to the hospital with an infection, and needed a procedure that would prevent her from attending the Brave Like Gabe 5K on May 5.

It would be her last post.

Justin, who is a physician, was never as enthusiastic about sharing every detail on social media, but he knew it was up to him to continue her initiative when she could no longer share her journey. He remembered the many days when he would come home from a 12-hour shift at the hospital and find her working long hours on her foundation, responding to hundreds of emails and messages from people around the world, ultimately just “being a good human.”

“I felt the need to continue sharing with those people because she was so good at it all,” he said.

While sharing updates on her health was a difficult task, Justin got through it by focusing on her legacy and thinking of himself as three entities to his wife: husband, caregiver, and fan. By sharing her final days with the world, he would be her biggest fan.

“She wanted to share everything so publicly. She wanted to share the struggle and the triumph,” Justin said. “I was always uncomfortable with that before, but it made it easy for me to do it later because I knew that’s what she would have wanted.”

As Gabe’s health deteriorated, Justin started to share her health updates on his own Instagram account. His first post about it on June 2 described how Gabe nearly died in the intensive care unit (ICU) of Abbott Northwestern Hospital, and her following move to comfort care.

But she made a miraculous recovery in the hours that followed, even shouting the words “NOT TODAY” when Justin told her that she was dying. Her rally gave them more precious time together—and more time to gather her friends and family to say goodbye.

“I was able to have all of those conversations that you would kick yourself for not being able to have, which is a huge gift,” he said.

Five days later, Justin shared that she had returned to the ICU due to septic shock. Over the next few days, her condition worsened. On June 9, he wrote that she had been moved back to comfort care, and encouraged anyone who wished to send her a final message to do so.

“I wanted to let you all know while she is still alive so you can send her one last message here or on her wall or on her phone before she heads up to heaven,” Justin wrote to his 54,000+ followers.

By keeping her fans updated, Justin gave the community the opportunity to let Gabe know how much she inspired them. From fellow professional runners to everyday runners and non-runners alike, thousands of tributes poured in from around the world, all expressing gratitude for Gabe.

With Gabe’s friends and family by her side, Justin read thousands of messages to her.

“I don’t think she ever really knew until those last few days what she meant to people,” he said.

In her final days, Justin and Gabe enjoyed their favorite at-home activities, like listening to their favorite band, The National, and watching her favorite movie, Wall-E. The couple even has a print in their bedroom of the main character, Wall-E the robot, holding an umbrella to protect his friend Eve. It’s an image that the couple thought symbolized their relationship.

Living With Her Legacy

On June 11, Justin said goodbye to his wife of almost six years. After a decade of living with a disease with no cure, Gabe had reached her finish line with the same tenacity that she displayed in every race, always with no regrets.

“It sucks and it will always suck, but she said that she was ready to go. It’s not that she didn’t have the will to live, but when you have a disease like that where there’s no treatment or cures for and it progresses, there’s not really anything, we’d done everything…so it’s just hard. It’s heartbreaking,” Justin said, his voice breaking. “I don’t think I make it too long into any day without being pretty sad.”

Just as he could feel her presence on top of Quandary Peak, he looks back on their short time together as a precious gift.

“We spent probably too much time together, but we did everything and had the best life so it was a foregone conclusion that it had to be short,” he said. “We would joke that if she didn’t have cancer, that it wouldn’t be fair how good our life was.”

More than two months have gone by since Gabe passed away, and Justin is trying to adjust as best as he can to the unimaginable loss. Shortly after her funeral, he drove from his home in Minneapolis to Colorado, where friend and professional runner Sara Vaughn offered to let him escape to her cabin in Aspen. With the company of his brother, Justin hiked and ran on the trails that surrounded him, activities that he’s found therapeutic in a way.

“You can only dull the pain so much running in flat Minnesota. Running up mountains, running, hiking or whatever, is painful, but it’s a nice distraction,” he said. “I love Minnesota, but it’s just hard to be around a ton of people that know you. It’s kind of nice to be in solitude.”

Justin Grunewald

Recently named the CEO and president of the Brave Like Gabe Foundation, Justin hopes to grow the legacy his wife started by continuing to raise awareness and funds for rare cancer research, as well as empower individuals who are suffering from afflictions that could lead to depression.

One personal goal that Justin has is to raise funds for the foundation by running the fastest known times (FKT) on several well-known trails around the country, including the Superior Hiking Trail which stretches from Duluth, Minnesota, to the Canadian border. He also hopes to qualify for the Western States 100-Mile Endurance Run next year.

Thinking about Gabe’s legacy and the impact she made, Justin wants to live each day by remembering the unshakable toughness his wife displayed in the face of every challenge.

While each day is a struggle right now, he’s holding onto the same hope that Gabe spread throughout her life.

“She shared a lot of bravery with the world. I think she gave a lot of people hope,” he said. “It could be the most trivial thing in the world or it could be a death sentence, but you can still have some sort of hope that there’s beauty in the world.”

Contributing Writer Taylor Dutch is a freelance writer living in Austin, Texas.