What’s your why?, Megan Livak, IamUSAT, Ambassador – TeamUSA.org

By Megan Livak | April 18, 2019, 11:37 a.m. (ET)

“What’s Your Why?” It has been a question I have asked myself throughout my entire 24-year athletic career. It has also been a question I’ve been asked by numerous people for years. I believe it is the most important question you can ask yourself when you embark on any journey. It could be for a fitness goal, to join an amazing community, to learn about yourself and your body, or to be a part of something bigger than yourself. Regardless of what that “why” is, the key is to never lose sight of it, no matter what your journey may bring. I am incredibly fortunate to have had such a multifaceted athletic career. From swimmer to multisport athlete, it’s been a crazy hard journey filled with ups and downs; early mornings and late nights; long training rides, grueling runs, and crazy swims; tears, pain, soreness, and sacrifice; but also the amazing feeling of accomplishment; the smiles, laughs, and amazingly supportive teammates; hard work, grit, determination; and ultimately, success. Both my journey and my “why” have shaped me into the athlete and resilient person I am today.

My athletic career began as a fiery 7-year-old swimmer who loved to compete and win, and ultimately wanted to be in the Olympics when she grew up. I did everything I could to make that dream come true, from swimming for a competitive USS Swim Team to swimming Division I in college. However, that fiery little swimmer disappeared in college. The long grueling practices throughout the years and lack of recovery had completely taken a toll on my body physically and no amount of ‘mind over matter’ could fix this, which was absolutely devastating. My ‘keep on pushing attitude’ finally landed me in the hospital with a serious case of mono/exhaustion. I struggled to perform at less than my best once I recovered enough to train, and at the end of my Senior year, I was mentally and physically checked out. I grabbed my equipment, dumped it in the trash and walked out of the pool, swearing I would never swim or race again.  I had lost my “why”.

Slowly, over the next couple of years, I found that itch to race and swim again. I finally let my body and mind recover. I missed being part of a team and being active. I was slowly finding myself again and my new “why”. I started doing land sports, which included strength training, spinning and running. I set some new goals for myself and ran my first half marathon at the end of 2010. I continued to run and joined a running group. I finally got the itch to get back in the pool in 2011 and started open water swimming, which I fell in love with. I continued setting running goals and ran my first marathon in 2013.

At that point, I was running with a group of multisport athletes who suggested I get a bike and try out the world of triathlon. So, I bought my first road bike and signed up for my first triathlon, which was a logistical nightmare. I had no idea how to set up my transition area, forgot a water bottle for my bike, had no clue about race nutrition, and wetsuit? We can wear wetsuits? Even with all those factors working against me, I wound up winning my Age Group and booked my ticket to Nationals in Milwaukee. Right then and there, I caught the bug and knew this was something I wanted to seriously pursue. Why, you ask? Because it made me remember how much I loved to race.

In 2015, I joined TMB Racing, a multisport team and second family, based out of New Jersey and trained with them for the remainder of the 2015 season. I raced my first Nationals in Milwaukee, WI and was completely in awe of the caliber of athletes competing there. I wanted to be one of the Top 10 athletes on the podium who earned a spot to compete at the international level. It had been a goal of mine ever since I was that little 7-year-old swimmer to compete at the international level, so I set a goal to qualify not only for Nationals again, but for the ITU World Championships in Rotterdam, Netherlands the following year. I knew it was a lofty goal, considering I didn’t have much of a background in triathlon, but with my work ethic, drive, and some amazing coaches and teammates in my corner, I knew I was going to go out there and give it everything I had.

Nationals in 2016 was the culmination of my “why.” I raced both the Olympic and the Sprint distance races. The Olympic distance race did not go as planned, but I shook it off and decided that I was going to go out there the next day and have fun with the Sprint race, since as a swimmer, sprinting was my sweet spot.

Race day was a blur, but possibly one of the best moments in my athletic career.  I came out of T2 and saw my teammates going nuts, screaming that I was in the top 15 of my Age Group. I knew if I could hammer the run, I might be able to earn that Worlds spot. All I could think of on that run was my “why.” I gave that run everything I had, channeled 23 years of training, racing, and built up emotion into getting to that finish line as fast as I could. “How bad do you want it, Meg?!” screamed in my mind. “Remember all of those early mornings in pool at 5am or on your bike for 8 hours? Remember all the hard work you put in, day in and day out? Remember everything you sacrificed to be here? HOW BAD DO YOU WANT IT, MEG?!” I crossed that finish line in tears, knowing that I had literally given everything I could possibly give. The stars aligned that day and I earned a Top 10 slot which secured me a place on Team USA. Seeing my name on the wall at the awards ceremony was truly a moment I’ll never forget. My goal ever since I was that fiery little swimmer had always been to represent the USA at the Olympics or an International race. Triathlon gave me a second chance to reach that goal, and after twenty-three years of hard work, determination and adaptation, my dream had finally come true.

It certainly wasn’t easy, but nothing good comes easy. My path has been full of the unexpected twists and turns, but I was able to adapt, try new things and keep my eye on that ultimate end goal of qualifying for Team USA, 23 years in the making. It’s been about adapting and listening to my body, believing that anything is possible, and remembering WHY I do this. I am proud and humbled to represent myself, my family, my beautiful country and the sport of triathlon.

So, what exactly is my “why?” I TRI because I love to push myself and my limits to be better than I was yesterday. I love the feeling of accomplishment that no one can ever take away from me. I love to show others what a crazy dream can do. I love how supportive the triathlon community is and how I’ve gained a second family that loves, supports and inspires me in every facet of my life. I love to inspire others to leave their comfort zones and push their limits, especially women and young girls. And most of all, I love that it’s FUN and makes me HAPPY.

My best advice? Find your why and NEVER lose sight of it.